First Hearing

Two days ago we had court ordered mediation.  It went exactly how I expected it to go.  He tried to defend his alcohol and drug problem with stupid petty excuses and had lots of passive aggressive comments toward me and my family.  He interrupted me and was just not cooperative.  We obviously didn't come to any agreement, so we went to court the next day.

Our hearing was for temporary custody, visitation, and child support.  We were supposed to have 7 minutes to give our information.  I'm not exactly sure why, but the judge actually heard our case!  We both took turns on the stand (sworn in) and answered questions.  He got an attitude with my lawyer and tried to with the judge while he was reprimanding him for being aggressive.  He definitely got put in his place more than once.  What we ended up with was a legal custody and visitation schedule.  He is allowed every other weekend and every Wednesday overnight.  He has promised not to drink while he has the boys.  He is ordered to under go an evaluation for substance abuse and is to do any recommended therapy for that.  He is to submit drug tests on his own.  He also has to pay us $500 a month.  It would be way more, but I'm not paying rent now.  Now, he is considering getting a lawyer, so we can't set a trial date for a permanent situation.  We were able to set a pre-trial hearing date for late May.  So he has until then to get his act together.

After all that, he showed up to pick the boys up that night!  It was a Thursday and not his court ordered day.  I went out to his car (because of course he didn't come to the door to get them) and told him that he didn't get them that night.  He said he thought it didn't start until this weekend.  I told him that if he still want to come Sunday to take them for the afternoon, he could. (I had previously agreed that he could take them bowling for some charity event that he had already bought tickets for.)  He seemed ok with that, but then peeled his tires up the street when he left.

Then, I find out that he never went back to work after our hearing!  I was home by 4pm, he gets off at 6pm.  He didn't tell my Dad that he wasn't coming back, he just didn't show!  Today, my Dad talked to him about why he didn't come back after work.  He got an attitude about it, of course.  Then my Dad asked why he had questioned my Dad's sanity in our hearing.  He said that since I was "going after" his mom, he was going to go after my dad.  (His mom is on mental disability from the government; my dad is on meds for anxiety.)  Then he asked if he was being asked to pack his sh!t and leave.  My dad said yes.  So he was fired today.

I took a big step and blocked him from my Facebook account.  It's scary not seeing what he's saying about me, yet oddly comforting at the same time.

At least there is some legality about this whole thing now.  It's a little comforting.  Just a little, though.

Too late for a New Year's resolution?

I decided today that I need a resolution for 2011.  I know, I know.... it's February 16th.  So I'm a little slow these days.  Sue me.  I've never before had a REAL resolution.  Oh sure, I've done the whole "I'm going to lose weight" and the "I'm going to swear off Diet Coke" but I've never really stuck to any of it.  Maybe putting my goals out there for the world to see will help keep me in line.  Maybe not.  We'll see in December, won't we?  So here goes:

I am going to be healthier.

See how I did that?  The blanket statment is much easier to stick to than a specific thing!

Currently, I drink anywhere from 64- 128 ounces of Diet Coke a day.  I go to McDonald's at least 3-4 times a week.  (I think that they should sponsor me in my efforts, right?)  I also injure my back often.  Like, weekly (or more).  I am also a pretty stressed individual.  You wouldn't know it to look at me.... I'm pretty slender and I appear to be pretty laid back.  But inside is a super freaked out fat lady trying to get out.

So those are my faults.  Here is what I plan to do about it:

I currently go to a circuit training class (aka HELL) three times a week.  I plan to add in some yoga or pilates to strengthen my core muscles (aka abs and back) and to help me find calm.  I am searching for a Buddhist temple in the area because reading about Buddhism really seems to ground me.  I want to learn how to meditate.  In theory, I will also eat healthier.  That's the tricky part because I live for Diet Coke and crap food.  Plus, it costs more to eat healthier!  I will also get my finances in order in 2011.  I will save money and get rid of debt.  I think that will do wonders for my stress level.

Now off I go to get healthier!